I’ve been feeling kind of “meh” lately. Between moving and leaving everything I’ve known for the past four years and trying to make this transition into living in Idaho and not being a college student anymore, I have to admit it’s been a little rough.
However, today when I was browsing the TV channels (cause I can do things like that now- no papers to write!) I saw a commercial about education that shared some stats about Idaho. While the commercial was quite sad (we’re ranked 48th in the nation! OUCH!) it also pointed out that although right now I don’t feel like I’m accomplishing much, I actually have done something that not many people do.
As you can watch in this video,
For every 10 high school first-years in Idaho, 8 will graduate from high school.
4 will go to college.
1 will graduate from college.
I am that one.
The teacher in me wants to make sure that in the next generation there are many more than just ONE. The recent grad in me is damn proud to be that one.
A a woman, I know the odds were even greater against me.
As a Latina, I know the odds were WAY higher that I would drop out or get pregnant than graduate from college.
I know it may seem like a small thing, but right now it’s big. And it’s real. And that’s something that I’m proud of.
I know it’s been a while since I’ve updated, but I promise there’s a reason! I graduated from college and moved across the country! It’s been such a whirlwind couple of weeks but I’m finally catching up with everything going on.
First of all, let me say that graduating from college is the most amazing feeling I have ever experienced. The amount of love and pride I felt radiating all over my college campus that day was overwhelming in the most fantastic way. My beautiful, sweet, intelligent, kind, incredible friends all did wonderfully and we all couldn’t have been more proud of each other. We’ve all supported each other through four years of the greatest but also most difficult and trying years, but we survived and came out stronger, more confident women.
We’ve loved each other with incredible strength, passion, and loyalty, and these women have become my true support system and best friends. I couldn’t imagine life without them, and I feel profoundly lucky that I don’t have to.
And of course I can never forget about my other incredible support system. My parents and two of my brothers were able to make it to my graduation and I was so so happy that they were there!
A couple days after graduation, my brother and I started on the drive back to Idaho! We had a pretty uneventful trip, just a lot of driving and counting antelope in Wyoming! And of course, coming home I’ve been spending a lot of time with this sweet baby!
Yesterday was my last day of undergraduate classes… ever.
Which is kind of a big deal. Or at least it’s supposed to be. I feel like the only member of my graduating class who wasn’t posting on Facebook about how excited they were to be done with classes and how different they felt.
I’ve been struggling with this today because I don’t feel any different. Yesterday felt like any other day of class and then work and then home. Today didn’t feel different either. I think I half expected to wake up and find that I magically felt like this whole graduation thing is real.
It doesn’t seem real at all.
The countdown is at 10 days until graduation. About 50 pages of writing stand between me and that diploma (my senior research thesis and a couple take-home exams).
Maybe it’s because I still have a lot of work to get done before I can really be done and stop stressing. Maybe it’s because I’m sick– it’s just a cold, but it’s exhausting me. Maybe I’m still in denial about moving away from my life here and going back to cold Idaho. I can’t really pinpoint why this is happening.
Maybe I’m not supposed to feel any different, but I feel like I should. I’ve been looking forward to my college graduation my whole life. This has always been the goal. And maybe that’s part of it too. Now that I am reaching this goal- the furthest one I’ve ever really set for myself- I don’t really know what to do. I mean I know that I’ll be teaching for a bit and at this point I hope to return to Atlanta at some point and possibly grad school but I’m really not sure.
I’m really looking forward to the day where I wake up and feel accomplished and different. I know I’ll get there one day, but it sure would be nice if it was soon!
I’ve been keeping busy with school, events, and trying to spend as much time with my friends here as possible in between research and other work.
This past week has been full of a lot of reflecting, reading, thinking, and realizations.
I am exactly 3 weeks from graduating from college (!!!) and things are getting REAL. Experiencing things with my friends here “for the last time” has been getting rough and emotional for us all and at this point when someone talks about they are usually met with shhhh’s and “noooooo!” But the thing is, whether we talk about it or not, May 11th is going to be a hard day. It will be SUCH a happy day though. My family will be here, I will graduate. I will be done. But, like I’ve said before, I have a hard time letting go of friends.
So it’s been a somewhat quiet week around here as we all keep on keeping on through these next few weeks.
I did take my little ones to the LUL probate this week and took them out with me. They are so fun. LUL is the frat that I’ve worked with a lot through the years and I’ve become really close with the guys. I’m going to miss them too! My first-years are fun ladies so taking them and introducing them to everyone was really enjoyable. I felt like a proud mama watching as they became more comfortable with themselves throughout the night.
Today we had our senior brunch at Dean Lee’s house, and we ate omelets and she read Dr. Seuss to us and then gave us each a book! It was such a fun time and an opportunity that I know wouldn’t happen at any other school. I have been so blessed to be a part of this community.
Tomorrow I have plans to go out with my friend Syedah and take some senior pictures so that we can have some pretty spring pictures. I’ll share some results when we come back!