A HUGE announcement! And taking my life on a whole new Journey!

If you follow me on Instagram, then you probably already know this, but I reached a huge dream of mine yesterday. Something that I’ve been working toward and hoping for for years. I got an email. THE email. This email:

TFA Acceptance

Tears and tears of joy!

A new job, a new city, a new adventure. I am SO excited to be moving on to this stage in my life and could not be happier with my placement. I wanted so badly to be placed in special education and have been lucky enough to be placed in Chicago, a city I’ve never been, but after traveling this much, I’m an old pro at making a new life for myself. Plus, the boy will be moving there this summer for a job so I know the transition will be easier with the both of us there! 

While I can acknowledge the shortcomings and controversy surrounding Teach for America, I know that this program will allow me to follow my passion and make a difference in the best way that I can. I will be earning my Master’s degree at the same time, and I know it will be a lot of work but I am more than ready for it. I really feel that TFA will allow me to become the best teacher that I can be.

For now, I have 3 months to tie up loose ends here before I make my move (my THIRD cross country move in the past year!) I need to be saving money, preparing myself mentally, taking certification tests for Illinois, and reading up about everything I will need to know before I start summer training.

I still feel like it’s all a little bit surreal, but I’m slowly coming to terms with everything. I’m beyond excited and blessed to be able to do this. This also means there will be some changes to this blog over the coming months, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it!

Thanks for all your support through this process and as I make this transition into yet another job and city!

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The story of a girl who couldn’t make up her mind. Ever.

Aka the story of how I’m now living in my 3rd home in as many months and now there’s no turning back. For a while.

As you know by now, life post-college graduation has not exactly been the fairy tale I might have imagined my sophomore year of college. (I thought I’d be living in North Carolina and married over this past summer and life would be moving in a TOTALLY different direction. HA, 20 year old me was so silly.) Honestly, I could not be more grateful for the way my life has changed over these past couple of years but it still leaves me with immense feelings of uncertainty. Is this where I’m supposed to be living? Is this the path I belong on? Hello, confusion!

What I do know is that I am incredibly lucky that my past experiences have given me the confidence and ability to just pick up my life in a matter of days, pack everything I own into my car, and go. It’s a wild ride.

After my summer of teaching, I packed up and moved home to take care of my Daddy. Though I know I was helpful to provide rides and a rest for the rest of my family, I also know that I wasn’t in the place I was supposed to be. My heart wasn’t there. And that’s ok.

I love my father with everything I have. I have him in my heart forever, and his writing tattooed on my skin. He will forever be my number 1 man, and my biggest cheerleader in this life. I know he understands my need to leave my small town in Idaho and knows my heart is in the city with more opportunities for education and for work that I will be able to love. I still talk to him regularly and I know the updates on his condition, and am in close contact with his doctors. At this point, there is nothing more I could do, and I just have to trust that they will make my father the most comfortable that they can in this time.

So I picked up and drove to Atlanta, back again for good this time. Or until I save up enough money for another move. For now, I am relying on the generosity of sweet friends to provide housing for me until I can find myself a job and an apartment on my own, and enjoying time recovering mentally and spiritually from these past few months, and reconnecting with friends that fill my soul with so much happiness.

This change and transition into a new stage of life is bittersweet, but the moments of joy make it worth it. And as bad as I might think things may be at times, I remember the words of my favorite professor as I complained once to her about not knowing what to do with my life- I am lucky. I am so very blessed to have these options. To have choice. I have the privilege of deciding what I will do and who I will be. There are so many who don’t have that, and I am lucky. This reminder to be grateful echoes through my mind any time I start to think negatively.

 

It’s July 28th already!

Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve been on this little blog! I’m so sorry for being away so long, life has been a whirlwind!

I moved into an apartment with no internet (yeah, breaking that addiction was interesting!), began my teaching job (my only source of internet) and have been loving it so far!

My students are the absolute coolest. I seriously could not ask for a better group of kids. They’ve kept me challenged and made me laugh more times than I can count. Watching them as they’ve grown even in these past couple of months has been so rewarding. Seeing them learn and get interested in the material has been great. We’ve has our trials and our road bumps but for the most part I’ve had a great support system around me and we’re getting through!

As for my own life, this past month has been about making big life decisions. I’ve been torn between moving back to Atlanta and moving back home to be with my parents. I love the city of Atlanta and all my friends (and boyfriend!) are back there, and I know my job opportunities are wider there. However, my father’s health isn’t the best, and being so far away just doesn’t seem like the best idea for right now.

Today, I made a decision.

When the summer ends, I will leave my teaching job and move up to my parents’ house. I will go to school at one of the local universities for a second bachelors degree. This time, in elementary education.

So I’m putting off the whole solo-living in Atlanta plan for now. It’ll still happen, but maybe not for another year or so. I know my friends understand. I know my boyfriend understands. They are all, of course, ok with it and supportive of what I feel I need to do.

It’s not going to be easy, but in the end I know family is worth it.

On letting go.

I’ve been having a lot of trouble with this lately.

I’m having trouble letting go of so much in this big transition phase of my life. And of course I mean in addition to the actual “things”- so many clothes and dorm stuff that I won’t be able to take with me.

Since I’m feeling a little complain-y, I’m going to let myself have today to think about one of the biggest things I feel like I’m going to learn to have to live without.

My friends.

This is huge. I know my girls will always be there for me, regardless of distance and time differences. They are the kind of people and we have the kind of support system that can and will last. I will have them over the phone and Skype and such, but it won’t quite be the same. They won’t be there for middle-of-the-night study breaks at Waffle House and they won’t be able to be by my side in a matter of minutes the way they can here. (And I won’t have Waffle House!)

We’ve built up a truly amazing sisterhood over these past four years and it’s hard to think about what I’m going to do when I won’t be seeing them every day. It’s wonderful to know that I have these powerful and strong women surrounding me. When one of our friends is in need, we rally. We support. We love. No longer having that immediate support is going to be strange and difficult for sure. I’m not sure that people find these kinds of friendships on a regular basis. I don’t know if I’ll make friends that I can become this comfortable with in Boise. Or wherever I end up after that. As exciting as this step is, it’s scary.

I know that I’m doing the right thing by making this move. I will have a good job, a place to stay, and I will be closer to my family. Right now, this is what I need to do and what will be best for me. It’s just hard to think about leaving this city that I love and where I’ve built my life.

I have a lot of life ahead of me, I know that, but it’s hard to see that right now.