I’ve been having a lot of trouble with this lately.
I’m having trouble letting go of so much in this big transition phase of my life. And of course I mean in addition to the actual “things”- so many clothes and dorm stuff that I won’t be able to take with me.
Since I’m feeling a little complain-y, I’m going to let myself have today to think about one of the biggest things I feel like I’m going to learn to have to live without.
This is huge. I know my girls will always be there for me, regardless of distance and time differences. They are the kind of people and we have the kind of support system that can and will last. I will have them over the phone and Skype and such, but it won’t quite be the same. They won’t be there for middle-of-the-night study breaks at Waffle House and they won’t be able to be by my side in a matter of minutes the way they can here. (And I won’t have Waffle House!)
We’ve built up a truly amazing sisterhood over these past four years and it’s hard to think about what I’m going to do when I won’t be seeing them every day. It’s wonderful to know that I have these powerful and strong women surrounding me. When one of our friends is in need, we rally. We support. We love. No longer having that immediate support is going to be strange and difficult for sure. I’m not sure that people find these kinds of friendships on a regular basis. I don’t know if I’ll make friends that I can become this comfortable with in Boise. Or wherever I end up after that. As exciting as this step is, it’s scary.
I know that I’m doing the right thing by making this move. I will have a good job, a place to stay, and I will be closer to my family. Right now, this is what I need to do and what will be best for me. It’s just hard to think about leaving this city that I love and where I’ve built my life.
I have a lot of life ahead of me, I know that, but it’s hard to see that right now.